Disclaimer: The following is my personal account of stopping drinking. If you're a happy drinker, I don't want to alienate you. I was once a happy drinker myself. I wrote this post to help sort out my own feelings about alcohol with the hope it could inspire others. I hope it's not mistaken for preachy evangelism!
There are books about how to be a better lover. Books about how to improve your physique, how to eat healthier, how to live longer, how to become more in touch with your spirituality, how to get more organized, how to be happier.
I've read most of them.
I've read most of them, and sometimes while reading them I had a drink in my hand.
I've spent a significant amount of time on self improvement without ever seeing the elephant in the room: My use of alcohol (and cannabis, for that matter) were decaying my potential more than any of my other behaviors were.
But alcohol gives you courage. Alcohol doesn't give me courage. In the end, it makes me a coward. I feel ashamed. By morning, I feel remorse. Courage is the ability to take action in spite of fear. Alcohol doesn't make me courageous. It makes me reckless.
But surely alcohol relaxes you. But it made me tense to begin with. Drinkers aren't more relaxed than non-drinkers. According to popular culture, non-drinkers are uptight. But I've met a lot of uptight drunks. And I sure don't feel relaxed on a Saturday morning in the throes of a hangover.
But how will you socialize? The same way I always have. I'll just be sober instead. I'll go to bars with my friends. I'll order virgin cocktails. I'll drink soda water. Nothing will have changed, except I'll be in control of my actions. And I'll wake up with a smile.
You don't drink? That must be boring. No, actually. Sobriety is pretty awesome. I've had more profound life experiences in my last few weeks of sobriety than in the previous months using alcohol. When I'm not shorting my pleasure circuit, I'm forced to seek pleasure in real-life experiences. Friendship. Adventure. Life.
The alleged benefits of drinking alcohol are illusory justifications for the continued ingestion of an addictive substance.
They're the same justifications a junkie uses to get his next fix of heroin or a smoker uses to accept his purchase of another pack.
Well, no different except that we're all okay with our alcohol addictions until catastrophe strikes.
But I don't want to wait for catastrophe.
I don't want to spend the best years of my life slightly numbed. I want to feel the full breadth of my human experience. I've spent so many of those special occasions---the ones we're supposed to remember forever, the ones we're supposed to cherish---inebriated.
Alcohol impairs my judgment, costs me money, wastes my time, sabotages my health, numbs my experience, constricts my mind, and makes me ugly. It does all of these things without offering tangible benefits.
Drinking alcohol prevents me from being the best version of myself.
So I stopped.